Random Rain

There is something captivating about the rain. I was just scurrying around my room, my mind running a million miles a minute, thinking of all of the things I have to do before I leave town this weekend, when I suddenly glanced out my window and saw a gleaming reflection shining off the streets. The cars parked outside twinkled with the fresh coat of pure rain that had randomly started, lasting only about five minutes. The air looked cleaner and everything just seemed fresh and crisp. Even my mind felt cleansed just from looking. There is something romantic about the rain. Why is it that the kissing scenes in the movies are so much steamier when a sudden shower of thick rain pours down on the dramatic setting? It represents something fresh, new, and exciting. Something passionate and unexpected. Some people could argue that the rain is just a gloomy sign of bad weather, but for me it's is an excuse to snuggle up and stay warm or an invitation to go outside and dance in it. I am off to California this weekend and, surprisingly, it is supposed to rain the entire time. I could not be happier to pack up my rain boots for a few days and spend my weekend under the showers.

Our Virtual Selves

A writing assignment in one of my classes brought up an interesting topic this week. The concept of shaping your "digital identity" is an idea that has become not just the the norm of our society, but almost a necessity to effectively be in communication with the rest of the world. However, this new way of keeping in touch is not the most honest form of socialization. If you have a Facebook, online dating profile, or you're a gamer, you have already created your own digital self. Just how much that self resembles who you are in real life is up to you, the person behind the profile. These avatars we create could represent us as who we really are or as the complete opposite, such as the college professor at Seoul University in South Korea who, in the online gaming world, personifies himself as a little girl. Michelle Jana Chan explains this particular case as well as others in her essay, "Identity in the Virtual World." Although that professor is an extreme example of masking ourselves behind our computers, we can experience subtle falsities as well. Sure, some one might be brave enough to "poke" you on Facebook, but would they ever have the courage to ask you out face-to-face? When it's a virtual reality you're living in, everything about yourself, your actions, and emotions can be handpicked, "Some would argue that virtual identity is a truer reflection of self than someone's image in the real world," writes Chan. So how does this affect our real life social skills?  Morphing into these online avatars can be an escape but it can also be a trap. We can not fully understand one another if we have various identities on and offline. Researching this topic has inspired me to snap into reality and get to know those around me, not from my news feed, not from their Twitter, but from the individual's personality in real life.

The Desire to "Draw Near"

The other day I was humbled and inspired by a complete stranger who I have had on my mind since the incident occurred. I was in Einsteins having breakfast and cramming for a test when I looked up and saw a girl sitting across from me reading, highlighting, and taking notes in her Bible. Here I was, anxious and nervous for my exam, frantically trying to focus on all of these facts and terms in front of me, while this girl was completely at ease and enticed by the most important book of all. I envied her calm, peaceful composure as she wrote something in the notebook she had open. I would say that my relationship with God is strong and growing, but do I spend enough time with my Bible? After long days of reading, studying, and homework, opening up any book outside of what is required for class is usually the last thing on my to-do list. But it is through our knowledge of His word that we are sharpened by God to become affective tools for his glory. If I am not reading about how to fully and effectively live for God, how am I supposed to know if I'm doing so? One of my favorite passages, James 4:8, reads, "Draw near to the Lord and He will draw near to you." The more time, love, and energy I put into coming closer to God, the closer He will come to me. The deeper I know Him, the greater desire I have to live for Him. Be aware of what people in your life will help to lead you on God's path. Some of the most inspiring people can be perfect strangers who are also discovering God's perfect love.

The Strength in Silence

I often find that the best remedy after an overwhelming day drags you down is to find a relaxing, quiet place and give yourself some alone time. Let your thoughts simmer for a few minutes, or hours, and soak up the silence that surrounds you. It is so rare during these college days that we are ever alone that we can start to depend on the company of others to keep us occupied or to prevent us from feeling lonely. But becoming comfortable with being with yourself and only yourself is truly a way of regaining peace of mind. Personally, this is how I recharge. By being by myself, talking only in my head, I regain my strength and my sanity. Back home I have a few special places I would do this. There is a certain view of the ocean I would regularly visit, and a particular bench overlooking a beautiful canyon near my house that I would also escape to when life led me there. Tonight, being far away from those places back in California, I deemed this comfy corner in the library my site of serenity. Speaking to no one, besides the occasional text message, I studied here for four and a half hours tonight, taking occasional breaks to just sit and think. Exhausted as I am from this ongoing study session, I feel content and at ease with my life once again. The frazzled feeling that I had when I walked into this building tonight is no longer weighing on me. We are a breakable species. We get tired, and stressed, and swept up into tornadoes of tests and personal pressures. Remember to stop, slow down, and meditate on the things in life that actually matter. Your health and happiness come first. Find your own secret place to sneak off to and re-lift your spirits that can so easily fall flat in this crazy life we live. 

"... but the greatest of these is Love."

So, it's Valentines Day, the day when millions of women across the country get dressed up and picked up for their dinner date at 7 o'clock with their significant other. Hoping for flowers or chocolates, they pick out a new dress and try to make this day a special one. Some men scramble to find those last minute reservations or pick up the only bouquet left at the flower shop. Others, the hopeless romantics whom I adore, have been prepared for weeks, plotting out every moment of this day for love. Earlier today, I spotted one of these types. I smiled at the sight of a boy waiting outside the steps of a sorority house, nervously clutching onto a box of candy with a big red balloon tied to it, shamelessly awaiting the arrival of the girl he wanted to show his affection for. I stood there and thought to myself how adorable I thought it was, but also how silly of a concept this day really is. We chose a single day out the entire year to celebrate love. Love, the thing that this life is all about. 24 hours to show your partner that you care with some combination of words, actions, and gifts. What if this was something we as humans thought about doing year-round? Think of how much deeper this world could love if Valentines Day wasn't just a day, it was a continuous way of living. My significant other asked me to be his Valentine today and I told him that I wouldn't just be it today, but I would be his Valentine everyday of the year. It doesn't mean I'll send him candy or love notes every day of the week. But constantly reminding him that I care about him? That's the kind of year-round Valentine I can be. And not just with my boyfriend, but with my family, my friends, even with strangers. Little acts of love can change your mood, can make a bad day better, and can fulfill our lives in unexplainable ways.

A Stranger Interaction

Today while flying to visit a friend, I initiated myself in a familiar yet provoking situation. Upon boarding the plane, I found my set near a window in aisle 15A, locating myself near a middle aged man whom I have never seen or met in my life. As the plane took flight I noticed that the man and myself were reading the same “Sky Mall” magazine. I thumbed and flipped through the thing quickly and found myself laughing at several of the advertisements in the magazine. Articles that others may find interesting and peculiar came across as childish and hysterical to me. As I sat there finishing the magazine, I noticed the stranger to my left laughing continuously. After a moment, I decided to ask the man what he was laughing about. He pointed to an article and photo in the magazine and I chuckled along with him. I than began to think how outlandish it was that I had just interacted with a complete stranger in a unique way because we shared a similar sense of humor. We were both complete strangers; neither of us had ever spoken nor intermingled with one another yet we shared a common similarity. I find myself interacting with people like this everyday. Sometimes it is with my friends, other times my professors, and sometimes even complete strangers on airplanes. I am 19 and have come into contact with thousands of individuals throughout my life and it is fanatical to think about how many people have influenced me in a way that has made me who I am today. Yes, my parents, brother, and friends, have formed me exponentially, but what about the complete strangers I continue shaking hands with or bumping into on a daily basis? The girl at Einstein's that puts cream cheese on my bagel might really like Gossip Girl or that police officer that gave me my parking ticket may enjoy cheeseburgers as much as I do. You just never know, so I have come to realize just this: never miss a chance to engage and meet some one new. I never know what new person God may bring into my life each day, but if I persistently converse with each new individual, then I can take something from each and every day.

Math Mood

I sat in my bed this evening, in a weird, irritating funk. Something was just bothering me. I couldn't find anything that was really wrong enough in my life to be feeling this way, so I did what we all do when we want to numb our minds for a while and think about other people's lives rather than our own. I logged into Facebook. After drifting into Face-space for about 40 minutes, I grabbed my stuff for statistics class and sluggishly meandered downstairs to my tutor. I sighed heavily as our session began as I stared at the daunting numbers in the book and wished they were words instead. Words, I like. I can understand words without putting them into a formula first. Words are free and flowing and can be strung together to mean anything. Numbers are flat and dry. They mean one thing and one thing only. And for me, they have always meant a headache and bad grade. But tonight, not even five minutes into our study session, something amazing happened that defied all rules that have previously applied to math and me. I got it. I actually understood what I was doing. I remembered formulas. I plugged the right things into my calculator. I was shocked. My tutor laughed at my surprise and my utter glee that suddenly radiated out of me. I did my stats with a smile on my face tonight, feeling confident and prepared for my test on Friday. I learned from all of this a valuable lesson: don't hold back when it comes to asking for help. If I hadn't asked one of my sorority sisters to tutor me in stats, I would never have been feeling this confident about the material, as ready for the test, or as far from my bad mood as I do right now.

Early on Sundays...

Waking up at 8am on a weekend morning is not something most college kids would be willing (or sometimes able) to do. Even for me, I have found only one thing that manages to encourage me to roll out of my warm, fluffy bed and actually get ready for the day. That thing is my church. As a freshman, the only church service I ever made it to was Easter Sunday. But this year, I made a new promise to myself to try to make it there every week. And I can honesty say that nothing has been more worth losing a few hours of sleep over. My friends and I drag each other out of our dark, cozy caves, brew a quick pot of coffee, and enjoy the time we get together. We have been able to grow so much closer as friends and in our faith because of our resolutions to brave the early morning and dedicate an hour to God. But this one hour out of my week has put a pressing desire on my heart to give one hour a DAY to meditate on, read about, or talk with Him. I only hope I can be as consistent in this as I have been every Sunday. It seems that the more I seek God, the more he urges me to dive even deeper into my faith which is both a challenge and blessing in my life.

Sick of Being Sick

There are certain things in college that just aren't the same as they were in high school. Getting sick, for example, is one of those things that can seem so much worse when you don't have someone to take care of you. When I lived at home, I was a bit of a drama queen every time I felt even the slightest bit of a cold. I loved how my parents would buy me special food and let me lay around, watching endless hours of TV. Now when I get sick, I am all on my own, no personal chef, no one to even pick up my prescriptions. However, this has forced me to become extremely self-reliant and much less of a complainer. I don't even like telling anyone when I feel ill because I believe that feeling bad can be a state of mind and once we convince ourselves that we feel better, we actually do. Now that I have seen how awful it is to be sick in college, without Nurse Mommy or Daddy to the rescue, I really appreciate the things that my friends do for me while I am under the weather. Bringing me breakfast or coming with me to CVS, it's the little things that mean so much and help me down the road of recovery. I am so thankful for them will return the favor when they are sick in bed and need a helping hand.

TTYL

Once upon a college party there was a boy who met a girl. They spent the whole night talking and getting to know one another, sitting on a crowded couch yet hearing nothing but the other person. He was charming and she was funny and they both felt like they had known each other forever. The next night they saw each other again and spent hours and hours chatting away, exchanged phone numbers, and made plans to hang out next weekend. Sunday came and he texted her an exhilarating, "Hey" which she waited exactly 18 minutes to respond to. The next day was Monday and as the girl walked out of her first class, she almost ran right into the boy. She stopped suddenly, caught off guard, and opened her mouth to say hey. But before anything came out, the boy swiftly moved around the girl, staring blankly at her face, and fist-pumped his frat brother standing right behind her. The girl stood there, mouth still open, and watched him disappear into the classroom without even turning around to wave. Later that night, another inspiring text appeared on her phone from him asking, "whats up" as if the incidence from earlier had never occurred. 

At some point I am sure that you or someone you know has gone through an experience as described above. How does the party scene get transformed into a kind of different life in which we only live in once the sun goes down? You meet someone out, realize the next day that they are in your class, yet neither of you acknowledges the other. The next time you meet someone out, SAY HELLO when you see them again in the daylight. Learning how to talk without the excuse of "liquid confidence" is a communication skill that we all must acquire eventually if we plan on say, getting a job. Or spouse. Don't text, call. Don't chat, meet for lunch. As scary as it can seem, learning how to use your words and not your keyboard can be a very beneficial talent. The more we do it, the more friends, fun, and real confidence we will gain.

Snow Day

Oh how the smell of a snow day hangs heavy in the crisp winter air tonight. I awoke last night, as the rest of my campus did, to the glorious sound of a text message from none other than our school's digital alert system declaring the following day of classes as canceled. A smile spread across my sleepy face as I drifted back into dreams of the free time and frostbite that I would soon wake up to on this Tuesday morning. And when I did, after braving the icy, freezing conditions of the storm for about 15 frigid minutes in an attempt to get some breakfast, I decided that it was best for my sensitive, Californian body to go into hibernation mode and remain indoors until I could go outside without the winter windburn making my eyes water and my face feel raw. Call me a complainer, but being raised on sunshine and year-round summers, I am completely comfortable with acknowledging myself as a winter wimp. After receiving the second "school is canceled" text tonight, I sat there in my bed once again, wondering just what I am going to do with all of this time on my hands. I'm not sure that I have had more than an hour free to do absolutely nothing since this semester started. But thanks to these sudden snow days, my possibilities are endless. Just as long as I don't go outside of course...