Last Post, For Now

Although this is my last required blog for this course, I still plan on using this site to spill about my recent escapades and adventures in college. I loved being able to sit down and just free write about whatever came to mind. I am now able to look back on where I have come from as a writer and also as a person. This blog has acted as a sort of time line for me, tracking events in my life and thoughts in my head that would have otherwise been forgotten. That's the magic in writing. It's a record of things that may have been lost forever had you not sat down and written them down. I am thankful for this blogging assignment and I can not wait to write here working under my own deadlines.

Easter Sunday

I love Easter. I love the pastel colors, the big bows, the kids running around all dressed up. I love the Easter church service, the family brunches, the candies and the egg hunts. I even had a good Easter myself this year despite being away from my family. I woke up and went to church with two of my best friends. We then had lunch at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. It was not your typical Easter celebration, but I still had a great morning and focused on the real reason for Easter. Our pastor retold the story of how Jesus rose from the tomb and how, as Christians, we have a responsibility to decide what this means to us. I liked this challenge and have been thinking about this all day. God really did have a reason for me being separated from my family this Easter; He wanted me to draw nearer to Him instead.

Easter Away

This is the first Easter weekend that I have ever been away from my family. I am one of the few kids who stayed at school and the empty parking lot view from my window is a little sad. I wanted to go home so badly, but as summer break is less than two weeks away, I understand why I am not. The good thing is I still have three of my California friends here to keep me company and celebrate Easter morning with. It's funny, growing up and growing away from things like Easter egg hunts that seemed so important at the time. I would look forward to the huge brunch, cards, gifts, and of course my Easter basket that I would find in my room every year. But now, the only thing that seems important about Easter is seeing my family and going to church with them. That is how you know you are getting older - the holidays start to mean more than just the stuff that comes with them. They mean family get-togethers and spending time with the ones you love. I can't wait for summer to be one giant Easter weekend where I can do just that.

Move Out

Today I moved half of my stuff out of my room. I had mounds and mounds of clothes piled on my bed, spilling out of boxes and on the floor of my closet. I made a large pile of stuff I wanted to donate, a stack of things to send home, and another bag full of shirts to give my little sister. Every shirt I went through had a story, a memory linked to it that I instantly recalled as I went through them. How do we accumulate so much stuff? I feel like I get rid of so many things at the end of each year but then I just buy more and more and once again it all piles up. I can't wait until I move in into my new apartment next year and get rid of even more of my clothes. But I am sure that I will have twice the amount of summer purchases to fill the space and the cycle will start once again...

Amazing Antiques

My new antique find. Obsessed!

What an amazing day I have had so far. After an indulgent nights sleep, I awoke at 11am and slipped out of bed to find that I received a job offer in my hometown. After calling the client to respond and accept the offer, I gleefully woke up one of my best friends from across the hall and we decided to do breakfast downtown. We walked into the comforting heat of the late morning and enjoyed the little slips of sun that peeped through the high clouds. The wind was warm, and we found free parking two blocks from the breakfast bakery we were going to. We had the most delicious meal and then walked to Starbucks where I tried a toffee nut latte for the first time. I have a new favorite coffee as of today. Then, we decided to do a little antique shopping for our new apartment that we will be moving into next fall. The place we went to was incredible, filled with timeless pieces from all over the world. We both instantly fell in love with the most amazing vintage dresser that we plan on putting in our living room. My friend and I decided that we absolutely had get it - it just begged us to buy it. So, after driving all the way home, talking about the thing, we turned around and went back to the antique store to get it!! Let's just hope our two other roommates will like it...

Bed Bond

There is something about a bed that is incomparable to any other place. A bed is a persons dream holder. It cradles you when you cry and it comforts you when you need it most. It is warmth and it is always there. You pick your side and that is forever your place. Your sheets swell up to your cheeks and your pillow props your neck perfectly. A bedtime is when kids drift off into the magical stories that their parents read them before the words morph into dreams. As I write this, I am snuggled up in my own cuddly cocoon, warm and surrounded by pillows and fluffy blankets. I have much to do but all I want to do it sleep. That is the mesmerizing power of my bed that I can not escape from.

"What most pleases the Lord"

"For you were once in darkness but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord." (Eph.5:8-9)
What about my life pleases the Lord? Answering this question, I believe, is one of our missions  as Christians. To depict what it is about ourselves that God loves and to keep doing it. Are we listeners, always at the side of our friends, lending an ear when they need it? Are we advisers, lending advice and instruction to those who seek council? I have yet to determine what it is about my life that most pleases the Lord. But I do know the feeling of when He approves of something in me. I get that overwhelming feeling of happiness and accomplishment that has an addictive taste about it. I know that whenever that pure sense of joy is present in my life that it couldn't be coming from anywhere but the Lord. That is what I want to do with my life. I want to take that feeling and invest it into things that bless Him in return. Will it be through my job? Through my family life? Through the way I treat my friends, acquaintances, or even strangers or the poor? I am not yet sure, nor do I know if it will only be one of these things. All I know is that it is my responsibility to find out and keep doing what pleases God most.

The Best of Friends

To catch up with an old friend is like revising a picture album with your best memories posted on the pages. I love when I get to talk about old memories with the people I have known forever. Tonight I had dinner with one such friend. We were able to talk about so many times in our life that nobody else would understand. We laughed and reflected on our high school days that we will remember forever. We also made plans for the summer that lies so soon ahead of us during which we will make more memories to look back on in the future. These are the friends that will last a lifetime. They are the ones that accept your faults and celebrate your talents. They know who you are, inside and out. The crazy thing about the friend I had dinner with tonight is that I probably spend the least amount of time with her out of anyone in my group of friends. But it is because I know how strong our relationship already is that I can be secure in our friendship and not feel like I have to talk to her everyday in order to remain close. Sometimes the best friendships are the ones that can allow a little bit of distance without really feeling far away.

Now vs. Then

It has only been two years since I entered this campus as a freshman and in that short time, countless things have changed. I have an entirely different group of friends. People who I thought I'd know forever have seeped out of my life like sand through my fingers. Just one summer passed and all of a sudden, freshman friends become classroom acquaintances, people you only say hi to if you have to. My career goals have been established and I now work towards those goals everyday. Life isn't just about being popular or cool or building a reputation. My days are actually centered abound learning more about what I want to do with my future and making true, valuable friends to make memories with along the way. I no longer go out and try to meet new guys. I am lucky enough to be in love with someone from my hometown and the social pressures of impressing the opposite sex have vanished. I am more secure, more careful, more aware. I think before I say something. I aim to try my hardest at the things that actually matter. I finally feel like I know who I am and who God wants be to be. My future is unknown, but my present is secure. I am on this path and have gone through so much already in only two years. I can not wait to see what the next two bring and how much more I will grow.

Facebook Phenomenon

We are a Facebook generation. Who would have guessed that something like social media would become such an addicting phenomenon?  I have logged on just to check my Newsfeed somewhere around 10 times today. It's sad  that we become so interested in the pictures, comments, statuses, and posts of the public. But it is also a connection tool. I still keep in touch with many friends from high school through Facebook. I love to see what they're up to, how they're doing. But it can go too far. When you search the friend of a friend of a friend because you heard she was wearing the same dress as you three weeks ago and you want to see who wore it better, that's obsession. Sometimes I'll find myself on a random person's page, someone I have never met and I'll stop and ask myself, "Do I really care?" I become embarrassed at my waste of time and try to limit my usage. Will our children use Facebook someday? What will the world of social media look like when the next generation of college students are online? I can only imagine..

Half-Way Done

I attended the Honors Convocation this morning for an extra credit assignment. As I was taking notes on the main speaker, it all kinda just hit me. I have two more years until I graduate this place. I am half-way done with school. Forever. I realize how quickly I try to rush through the weeks, to get to the next test, the next paper, the next project. But if I keep on pressing through as fast as I am trying, I feel as though I will look back and regret not truly taking my time. Not only will I be leaving college when I graduate, but I'll also be leaving Texas. This place has really become a second home. It has put me through some of the most strenuous trials of my life and then lifted me back up to learn lessons that I never would have learned had I not come here. This place has become my adventure. It's a test that I try to do well in every day. I know I belong in California, but Fort Worth was the one place that I chose to live in all by myself. I am truly proud of the progress I have made and the life that I'm leading. I have two more years to continue to build my character and my intelligence so that when I put in that cap and gown, that I saw so many smiling students in today, I can be sure that I have taken my time here in Texas and really lived every college day of mine to it's fullest.

Beauty and the Bikini

What is it about bikini season that causes panic attacks in young girls' hearts? The second we remember that this feared season is almost here, diets start, tans emerge, and the competition begins. Yes, a competition. Sure, girls try to attract guys with their toned bodies and bronze skin, but what they really aim to accomplish is to look better that the girls lying next to them. Society tells us to be prettier, skinnier, happier than everyone else. The media leads us on a fast track of insecurities that is hard to ignore. I commend the girl on the beach without the double-zero size bikini who still struts her stuff. The ones who are even more confident than the twigs that lay on the sand. This is the inner strength that all women should strive to acquire. Ignore the models. Look in the mirror and smile at the body God has blessed you with. Keep it healthy, but don't over do it. There is nothing healthy about obsession. This summer is fast approaching and I can feel the concern on campus growing. More girls appear in the gym as the layers keep coming off. But relax. Slip on a bathing suit with confidence this year. It's more attractive than any possible body type.

The Finals Freak Out

We are officially in crunch time. Four more weeks. That's two weeks of last minute tests, projects, and papers, a week of study days and then it's here. THE week. The five days in which it all comes down to: Finals. The air on the campus is still as the students realize that this is it. These tests can count for up to 30% of your grade in a class. Borderline grade? That only means more pressure. The fact that .01 of a percent can be the cause of a student having to retake a class is insane. The only thing that pushes us through this week of sleepless nights of studying and Redbull galore is the sweet scent of summer that hangs so near in out futures. No class. No tests. No pressure. The days are ours to do what we please. But until then we take it one class at a time. One assignment at a time. Until that heavy week comes, we anticipate it's arrival by taking care of the little things. The tedious tasks that seem, quite frankly, pointless at this time in the year. But we carry on. Stay focused and be diligent in your work. Soon we will meet that week with confidence and at last be released from the finals freak out.

Paintball

Paintball. Never did I think that I could be a participant in this painful sport. But once my sorority decided to plan a paintball mixer with a fraternity, I soon became painfully familiar with this term's definition. I hadn't originally planned on playing. I brought my camera and had enthusiastically volunteered as the photographer for the event. But when the range owner handed me a gun, I felt a rush of power that was hard to turn down. Call it the thrill of the hunt, but when that mask was strapped to my face, leaving the rest of my body daringly exposed to the flying, colorful ammo, I had a sense of excitement and adrenaline rushing through my veins. I soon gave up my camera duties and joined the fight. At the "Three, two, one" countdown, the paint flew and the players charged the center of the course. Some of us hid behind protective landmarks, peeping out to aim at the opposing side. On one such occasion, I peered from behind a distressed tree stump only to instantly be blinded by a giant pink splat of paint on my goggles. Shocked yet enthused, I went to the sidelines to await the next game. Why do we, as humans, have that natural competitive tendency? How come that gun in my hands made me feel like I could take on the world that day? I craved the risk element, soaking up my newly-found confidence that the gun gave me. As a girl who never thought she would paintball in her whole life, I can honestly say that I can't wait to do it again. But this time, I want to be the one to shoot that splat on my opponents mask.